Saturday 2 February 2013

The Dying Art of Flirtation



"So, I could walk you home.."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I could walk you home, if you want."

No fool,  i don't want you to walk me home. And I have no idea how you could think that. We were talking about people spelling names wrong. How the hell did you jump from that to “let’s go home”? Honestly, people are just downright lazy nowadays. Yes people, not just me, women have become lazy too. The other day, my brother told me that the cool thing to reply to a guy’s line is “Umeninice”. The dude just gave up his time come up with something, and you reply in some half English, half Swahilli crap? That’s the best you could come with?
          I dunno, maybe Jane Austen and Old School movies have spoilt me. I mean, a couple hundred years ago they didn’t even mention the word sex. It was all “Even if all the silkworms in China were fed on the softest cream from (insert dairy country here), they would not produce silk worthy of being compared to your skin”. Or something like “your lips bring to mind the harvest of autumn berries, lush in the sun”. Phrases that made you feel special, like you were worthy of some thought, like you’re just a little bit special.
          Even in the 90’s it was different, movies like Love Jones, where Darius makes up an entire poem within minutes of meeting Nina. A whole freaking poem. It wasn’t like it was lovey dovey or anything, I’m pretty sure most of it had to do with the meeting of her thighs or something. And music, Miguel’s Adorn, oh Heaven on Earth, if that was a pick up line, I would be in the dude’s car before he got to the second verse. He’s asking if you can take his love, and FREAKING WEAR IT. That’s just beyond sexy now.
          It could just be me. Maybe I’m just an old soul or something. And I’m not saying that if you hit me up with a poem, I’m going to go home with you, it’s just that if you thought about a line, any line and worked it in wittily or as a joke or hell, if you said anything, ANYTHING but your version of ‘Let’s get it on’, you’d have a better chance. And girls, when did we become so accepting of half-assed lines? I pretty sure there was a time when a guy would get chewed out for saying some of the stuff that guys get away with today. Who allowed it to become so bloody easy for guys? And where can I find them, so I can kill them?
          Like I said, could just be me. But hit me with a ‘your place or mine’, and you’ll be in for a cold, blue night J

5 comments:

  1. “Umeninice” -_- REALLY, I MEAN REALLY PEOPLE? a fully formed word in ANY language is too much of the asking.

    The Art of Flirtation is REALLY and Truly dead.I can't tell if the boys have become lazy because the girls have lowered their standards so much. Or if the women lowered their standards because men have stopped trying to woo us.

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    1. loool :) I dunno. It's like a chicken and the egg situation. Although to be honest, I kinda blame girls more. Someone once said the pussy rules the world, I agree. Men will go to ridiculous lengths to sleep with a girl. It's just that now, because there are so many easy girls out there, having standards kinda doesn't work anymore. And we all just wanna be liked in the end, so we lower our standards too, to give us a fighting chance.
      Either way, it's just gotta stop! Stop giving it up for umenice.
      oh and chips funga. da fudge is up with that??? :)

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    1. :/ why'd you remove it? i was gonna give you a slow clap :)

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